Addicted...

I'm not too much of a fan of J.Lo's music, a few of her songs maybe, but I love her new song "Get Right". It's addicting, I have it on repeat in my room, in my car, in my computer, and have yet to get tired of listening to it. I think she's a great actress, she makes up there where she lacks in music, I just hope her new CD Rebirth is as good as this song, unlike her last 3 CDs which I have only had a few selected songs that were decent, almost Hit worthy...

anyways, I was watching the reruns of The Real World, I rarely get to watch it, and one episode with Shavonda and Karamo really caught my interest. They were on the race issue...again, and it kind of hit home. Shavonda said she was brought up to not see color, and how she was tormented when she was in school because the black kids would say she would "act white". I went through the exact same thing. I was an army brat, born in Germany but lived all over. When my parents divorced my mom settled us down in Aurora, Colorado. It was a pretty diverse community, and my mom, having been born and raised in New Orleans, sheltered us pretty much. I've neve experienved racism, never been called a nigger. I had white, hispanic,asian and black friends, and it never dawned on me to see people for what color they were. It was never an issue to me until I moved down here in the middle of my seventh grade year. I attended Fannie C. Williams for one year, and I have to say it was probably the worst year of my life. The kids there were awful, ignorant,loud, stupid kids, and I use to resent my mother for moving us down here. The kids use to say I "act/talk white", not sure how possible it is to do either. People still say that, it doesn't bother me anymore, but it did then. They didn't know me, where I came from or what I've been through, they judged me based on how I dressed, the way I spoke correct english, and the way I carried myself. After I left and my mom put me in St.Mary's Academy, and I still faced the same self-hatred there, but by then, I had learned not to tolerate it, and ignore the ignorant comments, or better yet, to say something to make them feel smaller than what they already felt. A lot of people thought I was a stuck up bitch when I was there, and I guess I am in a way, but that's only because I don't tolerate or let anyone get the best of me. Race is not an issue to me, I accept people for who they are, not what color their skin is, so if you're racist or ignorant, then that's who you are. As long as I am happy with myself, then that's all that matter. I don't feel I should have to live up to anyone else's expectations but my own, if you don't like me, that's your problem. I don't live to make anyone happy but myself.