Bored

I am physically worn out. I haven't had a decent night of sleep. I've been sick since last Thursday, and that really didn't help much since I had to work Friday,Saturday, and Sunday night. This entire weekend has been nothing but stressful.Anything that could go wrong went wrong. The only good thing that came out of my stressful weekend was that I got promoted (for the 3rd time). I had an orthodontics appointment today, and it has been confirmed that I do need to have four teeth removed in order to further my "treatment". We knew this in December when I was suppose to have the surgery, but my mother wasn't comfortable with the idea of having four of my permanent teeth removed, therefore she cancelled the operation and wanted a re-evaluation, and the results are the same, the teeth have to go. DUH MOM! Anyways...Jerrod and I are doing fine, we decided to make our relationship official on the 16th, or something like that. Things couldn't be better right now. Well I'm off to sleep, hopefully...

100 Things About Me

Yes, I've decided to hop on the band wagon!

1. I am very impatient
2. I enjoy kissing more than sex
3. I love flirting :)
4. I love attention (from guys) even more
5. I have a weakness for stray dogs
6. I drink water religiously
7. When I'm complimented I blush
8. I sleep with the TV on because I get scared of the dark sometimes
9. I drive really fast and hate slow drivers
10 I laugh when people are trying to be serious
12. I can be really lazy
13. Out of the 20 something stories I've started I've only finished 4.
14. I don't believe in one religion, but I believe in a higher being (religio means divide in Latin)
15. I have an ear fetish
16. I'm an insomniac, and I don't suffer from sleep deprivation
17. I can go days without eating and not realize I haven't eaten.
18. I actually studied the study guide for Bras when I worked at Victoria Secrets (did you know 75% of women wear the wrong size bra?)
19. I was one of the 75%
20. I'm aggressive and fiesty
21. I have the perfect birthday, right before Christmas
22. I want to have 10 kids
23. I love my dog Jess so much that I paid $770 dollars to have her leg operated on
24. I'm selfless
25. I have 3 tattoos and plan on getting 2 more
26. My friends say I'm cheap :D
27. I have very low tolerance for pain *but the tats really didn't hurt*
28. I usually only attract assholes
29. I can be the sweetest person in the world when I want to be
30. But I have my moments
31. I'm really emotional when I'm PMS-ing
32. I always lose important things
33. I stay broke
34. My favorite movie is Beaches
35. I cry everytime I see it
36. I know how to get things outta guys without sleeping with them :D
37. I still have my Baby-Sitters Club books, and yes, I do read them from time to time
38. My favorite colors are pink, silver, lilac, and blue
39. I love movies and music
40. I love Pharell Williams, he's the sexiest man next to Orlando Bloom
41. I'm in love :)
42. Bill Cosby is my hero
43. I'm illiterate when it comes to poetry
44. I slept out side for concert tickets to see The Backstreet Boys when I was in the 9th grade (most embarassing memory)
45. I think Beyonce is sexy, and I'm not bi
46. Evanescence is my favorite artist
47. I try to eat healthy
48. My favorite book is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
49. I've read every single Harry Potter book atleast 5 times
50. I have a pink dildo that I don't use
51. I failed at my attempt of celibacy
52. I'm trying again to practice celibacy
53. My first love happens to be my first
54. My first love also broke my heart
55. It took me 3 months to grow my hair to the middle of my back...again
56. I went through a 1/4 life crisis and cut my hair to my ears when I started college
57. I still wish I was 6 years old so I didn't have to grow up sometime
58. I love the smell Heavenly by Victoria Secrets
59. I've done ballet,cheerleading, Girl Scouts, played volleyball, flute, piano and quit every single one
60. I hate my Alma Mater with a passion but refuse to let anyone say anything bad about it
61. I cherish my intermediate family and friends
62. I plan on marrying Donald when I'm 25
63. I want to be my own boss
64. I believe in karma
65. I don't go to church
66. When I was catholic, I became agnostic
67. If I ever see my dad again I might kill him
68. I don't claim majority of my family
69. I'm addicted to spicy foods
70. I think birth control is the best thing next to white bread
71. My manager Dwayne is like a father figure to me
72. I fuss and my sister a lot
73. I do my job well, and I'm the best at it
74. I am very confident in myself
75. I've been called preppy
76. I am preppy now that I think about it
77. I don't see the purpose of gold teeth, and refuse to talk to any guy with gold teeth
78. I've had braces for a year and think they're cute on me
79. I'm very open
80. I think Bush is the devil
81. I also think a lot of Americans are stupid
82. I love swimming
83. I talk with my hands
84. I hate weddings almost as much as I hate funerals
85. I'm indepedent
86. I say gay and loser a lot...
87. My hair is naturally curly
88. Did I say I love my hair?
89. I have big ears
90. I'm blind without my glasses or contacts
91. I hate bugs
92. I sit on the phone and don't say anything
93. I really really hate ignorant common people
94. I hold in what I feel a lot
95. I always go over my minutes and run up my cell bill
96. I can say the same for my credit card bill
97. My major priorites other than the obvious is to pay off all my bills
98. I plan on moving out in the summer time
99. I can't stay mad
100. I realize now I had way too much time on my hands

Diary of a Mad Black Woman came out last night, and it seemed as if everyone in New Orleans was there. From the time that I came to the time that I left, I wasn't able to sit at all. Then I had to work with two asshole managers that I don't like at all, I try and avoid working with them period, but, I didn't get lucky. I am not working Friday night anymore. Then Wanna scheduled me 6 days out the week, which means I gotta be at that damn place all week. My one day off I will sleep all day, after classes that is. Donald and I had planned on going out to breakfast after work, but I was so tired.

I received a letter from Michelle this morning. She and I have been bestfriends since the 3rd grade, and when I moved away we kept in touch. We've been writing ever since. I really miss her, it's been almost 8 years since I've seen her. I wrote in the letter I might go out to Colorado to see her for a weekend in the summer, maybe, if school and work permits me. My mom is MAKING me take summer classes because I'm behind like 10 hours or so :(, but, OH WELL. I'm just being lazy, I don't even like school (most of the time).

Oh,and Donald bought me the watch I wanted for my birthday!

here's a picture of it.

Another blah blog

I just felt like blogging again, nothing in particular is on my mind. Jerrod and I went and saw Constantine tonight, it was pretty good. I think Keanu Reeves is a great actor (and he's pretty cute). The test that I studied so hard for (in Business Law) turned out to be open book, I don't know if I should be happy because I would pass regardless, or be pissed that I spent all day at work studying and getting fussed at by managers for studying ( we aren't suppose to bring homework to work, but they usually let me slide because I'm in college and make it a point to let them know that my school work comes before that crappy job, or maybe they let me study because I'll change my availabilty on them and leave them assed out of a supervisor (c:...sure,there's more where I came from but there aren't any as good as I am). So anyways, certain individuals reminded me last night WHY no communication is necessary, and no, I'm not talking about James. This guy, who I shall name Dee, suffers from the case "HAVE THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO". Why? Well let's see, some odd months ago, Dee and I use to converse over the telly fone, and well see, it was nothing more than that. I was in a relationship (on and off with that ass) but I was kinda feelin' Dee.He was a nice guy, but, I was in that little circle with James,plus he was seeing some chick, so, it could never be anyways. Well, to make THAT long story short, Dee and I ended up falling out at the end of last year because his birthday fell on the day of my cousin Michelle's wedding. Now, since I was in the wedding, I couldn't call him. However, I did call him at 1:30 the next morning, and he was mad. I apologized, but he hung up in my face anyways, so I called back (I hate being hung up on) and left him a message since he didn't want to answer the phone letting him know that I would not call anymore. Well the story doesn't end there. He brings it upon himself to IM me out the blue a month or so later, and so we start talking on the phone again. But by then, I had already fell head over heels for Jerrod. We continued to be friends, but, he told me how he felt about me, even tho he was still seein' ol girl. Well, I couldn't do much about that situation, I hope he didn't expect me to drop Jerrod for him. So yesterday, he IM-ed me when I signed on yesterday, he started to get on me about not returning his last two phone calls. Now here comes the part that makes me mad, people who know me, know that I do work a lot, especially on weekends. I will admit, I am bad at returning phone calls, but I've been working on it, and I've gotten much better! I mean, I gotta schedule shit weeks ahead just to get something done, i.e. that trip to the gyno I'm dreading in a few weeks, bring my dogs to the vet to get groomed, hell,even a freakin trip to the mall to buy some damn shoes. But on those two particular days that he called, I happened to be at work, and sick. The day I was sick tho, I was on the phone with Jerrod (and Dee does not like him). And it made me mad because he's still seeing that girl, the way he was talking (you can't hear people over the internet), he made it sound like I had to answer to him. And I especially hate it when niggas try telling me what to do, I've lived without a father for 15 years, I don't need one to start telling me what to do now. I've had this conversation with him before, and I don't know why people think that I am obligated to them! I don't have anyone to answer to, but some of these people think that I do. Well, guess what, he is one of those people who I refuse to talk to again, I'm all for second chances,however you fuck up the first time,shame on you, happens again a second time, shame on me.

Clueless

Hmmm...I think I might've mentioned before on a previous post about demoting friends to associates, or frangers (friendly strangers). I'm not sure exactly how to even go about doing so, but, a so called bestfriend of mine, is about to become nothing more than a franger. Sure, we go way back to the 9th grade, did literally everything together, finished each other's sentences...but I feel we've grown apart, and changed. I don't like her like I use to, she tends to annoy me when we're around each other. What's important to her seems so irrelevant to me, she finds ways to criticize me but not directly insulting me. Now if people think I'm sadity (which I'm not), then they would certainly love to hate her with a passion. When she says stuff that pisses me off, I usually bite my tongue, which is never the case with anyone else. Not sure what I should do, end our 6 year friendship and be done with her, or stay friends with her and end up resenting her for the rest of our lives. Oh well, only time will tell...

Blah

Yesterday before I went into work, I got out the car and looked at The Grand. Most people have heard the horror stories if they haven't experienced them (99.9 are probably true). The Grand is actually a very nice theatre, and I'd have to appreciate the investors (Ronny Burns, George Solomon, and Alden McDonald) a little more, because their intentions were good. The east has shit, and everything in the east is shitty, and by bringing in such a nice theatre in a dominant black community, they'd hope to bring more business out there. It's kind of sad that at the end of 2002 (God I've been there soooo long), The Grand was at it's best. Now it's more of a hot spot for the youth of New Orleans (but I guess it's sort of a good thing because atleast they're not out there shooting eachother up and doing drugs right?) Oh well, maybe oneday it'll get the respect and the appreciation that it deserves. Anyways... last night was pretty packed, I had been at work since 9:30 in the morning, so by 8 that night, my nerves were shot and I was tired as hell. I didn't have the patience that I normally do for the bad ass kids that came through, most of them who even said anything remotely stupid just got a blank stare and silence.

Donald told me last night that I give bad first impressions. Donald, who is one of my bestfriends, said when he first met me, he couldn't stand me. I gave off this "sadity attitude, like I was a princess". I thought that was funny as hell, me? a princess? The thought is nice...makes me wonder if all the years that I've been called stuck up or sadity have anything to do with my first impressions...

Epilogue

I had a previous post called The Closing Chapter of James...that was suppose to be the end right? NO! Of course, he had to make a come back, like in horror movies, the killer is killed, but doesn't stay dead,thus, leaving room for a sequel, or a trilogy, or a freakin TV series i.e. Freddy Krueger and Jason. But what the hell. I'm at the point, again, that I don't give a fuck anymore. Don't lie because you won't have anything to remember. You'd think most niggas would take this to heart but no! New Orleans is a small ass city, you don't know how deep the next person's connection runs. So all the while he's telling me he misses me and he wants "us to work out", I'm getting information from some random chick that he's been "trying to FUCK her". I know I know, believe none of what you hear half of what you see blah blah blah (did I say that right?), but it wouldn't be the first time someone has told me that James was fucking over me. In fact, I've heard this from a number of people, hence the reason why I decided to take a "break" and then make it permanent. To be honest, I wasn't all that broken up about it. It hurt, but I quickly got over it, why would I stress myself out over some nigga that I barely got along with, someone that constantly disrespected me and caused unnecessary drama. I am way better off without him, I am HAPPIER without him. So when this chick, who shall remain nameless, told me that he was trying to fuck her and what not, it didn't even bother me. What made me angry, was when he came at me about Jerrod.

A case of "HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO".
Does this ass really think I owe him an explanation for my relationship with Jerrod, last I checked, I wasn't obligated to him, and he sure as hell don't look like my daddy. So why the hell does this guy think he has any kind of entitlement? I won't even go into great detail about the "fuck.you.get.the.fuck.out.of.my.life." conversation, but, I'm sure there might even be a sequel to James and his new fuck buddy. I'm expecting him to be childish (because he is) and to make an ass out of himself for me to make fun of (because I will).

In closing, these contacts drive the hell out of me, but I can see again!

Valentine's Day...

Personally, I think V-Day is a bit too commercial, I mean, one day out the year you go all out for your significant other, why does it have to be on the 14th of February? Why not the first of May or the 23rd of October. I decided not to celebrate Valentine's day on my own, but I received candy and gifts from people anyway.

*what really pissed me off was the people who continuously talked about what I would receive on Valentine's Day. It was like some big controversy that I would receive something because I got a diamond bracelet from Donald and a necklace from Jerrod for Christmas, so people were making bets at work, the million dollar question was what did I do to receive a necklace and a bracelet,and what would I do this time for Valentin's day... people really need to mind their own business*

Jerrod wanted to go out to dinner and then to a movie and whatever else he had planned, but I really didn't even feel like being bother. Instead, he came over and we watched Scary Movie 3 because he had never seen it. Then he fell asleep on Under World, I went ahead and studied a little while he slept. So in the end my Valentine's Day was uneventful.

I spent four hours in an eye clinic *thanx to Jerrod's mother*, where I received a free pair of contacts for my almost legally blind ass, and a free exam, but not without the stinging pain of eye drops and the many probes to check for glaucoma. Sure, I can see again, but my eyes are pretty numb and I had to wear these big ass black glasses that made me look like a giant fly because the light was just too bright. Good news is, that I don't have to take the contacts out for 30 days, the bad news is that I will be pretty assed out when I do have to take them out and put in another pair in.

What "She" Wants

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?" She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking. "Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said, "Yes." She began to expound... As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?" The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more." I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life." He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain. She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spiel, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You're asking a lot." She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

Floating...

In rotation:
1.Sunrise:Norah Jones
2.Truth Is: Fantasia
3.My December: Linkin Park

Jerrod just left my house. He came by after work. My sister and her friend were occupying the den, so we came into the family room and just cuddled. It was nice. Being wrapped in his arms, the kisses that he gave sent shivers down my spine, it felt so right.I know I sound like a big sap, and this is a completely different post from earlier( I was just irritated earlier), it's just when it comes to Jerrod, with one look all those seemingly unimportant things melt away. I'm such a dork...

Why?

Why do some people think I owe them explanations for the things that I do or the way that I am?

Why do people think that I actually care what they think of me?

Why do people always feel that I am obligated to them in some form?

It's pretty obvious, that if I don't "entertain" you, or let you know how I feel before hand, that the answer is right there for all to see.


People are funny honestly...and it's at the point now where no communication is necessary at all. I don't think I can stress enough how much I hate drama, and I can't stress enough how I despise people who create drama just because. Do people really have that much time on their hands that the only way to curve their own boredom is to be immature and cause someone else to be stressed out? I'm sure you can think of something else to do, unless your brain is already miniscule and your thought process is equivalent to a child's. And by all means, if you think this post is referring to you, please ask me, I'd be happy to let you know if it does.

The Zulu Experience

...is quite over-rated...Got all cute and dolled up, the dress fit perfectly, I thank God that my father's genes actually came in handy, if there was one thing I'm thankful for, it's that my ASSets are NOT from my mother's side of the family, they suffer from nass-at-all. So anyways...we were setup right next to the stage, well, all the tables that were made available to us, except for my mother's, who unfortunately was wayyyyyyy in the back. It's all about who you know, and what they can do for you. The Hotel room was nice, it was only a block away from the convention center so we didn't sit in traffic or have to pay to park, very convenient, and if I ever decide to go back to the Zulu Ball (which I doubt), I'll most likely stay in that hotel again. We got there pretty late, I would say around 10ish or so, they weren't even finished announcing the maids (there were 37), and it was pretty boring. A lot of the girls who made their Debut with Zulu went to St.Mary's with me, and it's like wow, I've been out of school for two years, and it seems like much longer than that; they've really grown up, I remember when they were lowly eigth graders still carrying around a lot of their baby fat, now they're like women. But anyways, Jerrod and I didn't stay that long, we left before the performers came out, and went back to our hotel room. What happened in there is too personal to talk about, even for this post, so I'll leave that alone (not everyone can be open about their sex life like GIAN).

My.Job.

I guess one of the benefits of going to Delgado, is that fact that I get Tuesdays and Thursdays off. So with so much idle time on my hands, I turned into a new availability form at work, letting my managers know, hey, I can work all day Tuesdays and Thursdays...great right? Sure, whatever. So of course, they schedule me every Tuesday and Thursday, whether it be 9-6, or 6 to close. Whatever, The Grand has some pretty screwed hours, and with my position, I never get off wheneven I'm scheduled to get off anyway. Been there two years and two months, I know that SYSTEM down pack. So anyway, I was scheduled Thursday for what we call the "matinee shift", and most people know what "matinee" means, that means you pay two dollars less before six, so all those cheap people come (not including the elderly) to the movies early so they don't have to pay the extra two dollars. But I'm leading away from the post...so I worked this morning. Of course, in my position, I'm under the managers, above the regular employees, that means I deal with anything and everything that comes through The Grand, money, customers, stock, whatever it is you that you can possibly name. Now, my job doesn't suck, it's pretty steady, and the money isn't bad. There is the occasional "I wish this place would fucking burn down" complaints, but that's usually when the youth of New Orleans come through and makes it their hot spot to hang out for the night. We've recently got a new manager who shall remain nameless. He's an asshole, and when I mean asshole, he's number 2 on my shit list, after Bush but before my dad. He works like a snake. At first, I thought he would fire all those people who had real seniority at The Grand, because when under new management, they like to bring in new people to fill those positions. Well, he did bring in new people, but didn't fire any of the old ones. In fact, there are a number of "regular" employees who get paid the same, which raised hell. I must say that I stress myself out every other day for some bullshit, and I feel under appreciated and under paid...mostly under paid. So, when I find out that some of the "new" people are getting paid the amount of money as I do, I instantly think that this guy is trying to get rid of me and the three other people who hold the supervisor position. There had to be a reason why he was starting these people at the same rate. So I bring it to his attention, that I and the other supervisors know, and he tells me "they're supervisors too...". In my mind, I'm like bullshit. So he has like 4 people who get paid the supervisor rate scheduled with the regular employees...now there is a pro and con to this. The good part about this is they don't fuck with my hours, I still pull in about 45-50 hours a week, the bad part is that these "new supervisors" don't do the supervisor work, he also plays favoritism. Like this morning, one of the four people who are these undercover supervisors, doesn't come into work this morning. So I'm pissed, because I have to open up by myself because one of the regular employees are late...as usual. So what I had planned to get done today, didn't get done, because I had to work by myself, which means that the weekend crew, will be assed out for the Mardi Gras holidays. My friend Donald says I shouldn't care, since I don't have to go back to work until Mardi Gras night,so I won't have any problems when I work again. But I hate having things planned out, and not finishing what I started. But the point is, if it had been me who was a no call/no show, I would have gotten chewed out and probably written up. Now we just had a meeting about this, we even had a fucking workshop for the new supervisors, a meaningless pointless meeting for me anyways, I didn't think I needed to attend, but my manager looks at us like we're a team. Team my ass, at my job, it's every man for himself, and I hate to say that because it's a job that I don't plan on staying at. I lost my train of thought, I'm tired now, I'll finish this later...