I did something drastic today! Something no one would ever think I would do...are y'all ready for this?.....I dyed my hair! Yes, Quinn, the girl who refuses to TRY ANYTHING NEW, has gone from black as night...to light auburn. Well, it's not really a light auburn, my hair color is hard to lift according to my fantastic hair dresser Kenneth, but it's pretty all the same. It's something new, I'm waiting to see how many people will criticize the color, people already can't stand the fact that's it's long :D, don't you just love haters. Yuck, I still have wax on my eye brow...ok now that that's gone. A no-name person told me today how much he's been thinking about me, and he wants us to be together...my thoughts are....? Indifferent. I want a boyfriend, I want to fall in love, but, I don't want to be with him. That sounds bad. He's a good guy, he's just not my type, in fact, we're like oil and water. Oh well, the search goes on for my soul mate...

I think I've given up on trying to understand people. Especially men. It's funny how simple guys are, they're actions are always predictable, you'd think WE'D learn to read them like books. I just don't understand why though. If I was attracted to girls, I think I would have become a lesbian a LONG TIME AGO. Don't ask what brought on all of this, I've just witness a few guys doing guy things, I wasn't involved, I was just there...for an example, a friend of mine nearly blew up when he thought his girlfriend was cheating on him, I had to bring it to his attention that he just QUIT fucking another girl who he cared nothing for. Sex isn't everything, sure, it's fun, and enjoyable, and when done correctly and safely, it puts you and your partner on another level when feelings are involved. Another reason why I don't understand how a guy with a girlfriend who he claims to love is trying to fuck me. I should be used to it by now, I've come across about 10 guys who've tried to get into my pants while in a relationship. I've been cheated on, and the knowledge I gained when I learned the truth I could have lived without. I would rather not know that my significant other is fucking someone else other than me. But that's just me. This is a dead end subject anyways, I don't even know why I wrote on this. I have half a mind to delete it but I'm not going to. I'm just in a bitchy mood right now.

Now I know the reason why my surgery went so smoothly, for the past 3 days I've been in nothing but pain! Gone from taking 20 advils *a bit much* to the new and improved Vicodin that puts me to sleep. Well, sort of anyways. I'll be alright, I just have very low tolerance for pain. I gotta get better for this weekend anyway, it'll be a repeat of Diary. Not much has been going on, been home since last Thursday "recovering", watched basically every single movie in my house and then some on On Demand. I don't think I've ever been so bored! Oh well, only good things to come. My friend wants to introduce me to this guy, she knows I don't like hook-ups, because you literally get the hook up, but he's white, which is a change, so hopefully it won't be like the last guy who ended up embarrassed and me...disappointed.

I'd like to thank Dr.Silva for making my teeth pulling experience painless...except for my face being numb for about 14 hours and then the slowly but surely fever I got at 3 in the morning along with the splitting headache. My oral surgery went smoothly, I'm still getting use to having four holes in my mouth, and having to take 4 advil in place of Vicodin so I don't become "addicted". I'd also like to thank all those who checked up on me, including two of my caring cough::nosey::cough managers and 4 of my coworkers. The only thing that sucks about having 4 holes in my mouth is now I can't make fun of my sister who had the same teeth pulled, she is no longer the gap-tooth blond...but now the gap-tooth twin (she's not really blond).Damn braces...the things we do for beauty!

Anyways, not much to talk about. The hole in the wall has been re-plastered and painted over, no evidence of an argument. Considering going out with "Robert", not sure exactly how long that will last. His schedule and my schedule conflict.

Here's some pics, not that anyone really cares

I met this guy Saturday like predicted, or more like he met me since he made a scene. Well not really a scene, he just said loudly in front of my managers and co-workers that he wanted to "holla at the girl with the hair". Golly, who knew that wearing my hair natural would cause so much attention. So anyways, my manager assured him that she would "hook that up", and I'm sure she promised him that for two reasons
1. She doesn't want to see Donald and I hook up
and 2. because she needs a new rumor to start because the ones about Jerrod and I are getting old
So she tells me there's this guy who wants to get at me. Of course, she had no info on him, except that he was red and good looking. I'm like okay...typical day at The Grand. So a few hours pass (I worked from 11-8), and Trella tried to approach me about this mysterious guy. Now Trella has this niche for guys and girls, or so the rumors go, and according to All Knowing Wanna, Trella wanted to holla at him herself. So while Trella is trying to find out whether or not he approached me or not, Wanna grabs me by the arm and drags me away, only to be placed literally in front of the red good looking guy. All of this happened in front of the rear concession in front of everyone. Damn how I hate being put on the spot. So pretty much anyone who worked that day witnessed this guy give me his number. After that I walked away and locked myself in concession until it was 6, but not before Trella found me again, and this time demanded to know if I was going to call. Now I don't bow down to pressure, and I don't intimidate easily, so I told her hell yeah. She was pretty stumped by that, I don't think she expected me to answer her so boldly. So I called him, his name is Robert by the way, he's 25, has a hyperactive 3 year old named Blake, and I suspect has some form of baby mama drama. No plans have been made to go out, he works from 5-4 during the week and goes to class at night, but he hinted doing something possibly this weekend, if I feel up to it after my surgery.

Poor Donald, Twinkie's paws connected with Donald's balls...and it happened like it was in slow motion. The funniest thing in the world!

God I feel so broke right now! I have a total of $61 dollars to my name until next Friday...oh well

Just out the blue, but I've been craving to feel what I felt when I was with Aaron; the butterflies in my stomach everytime we were together; the thought of being together forever; how he occupied most of my thoughts; knowing that he felt the same way about me as I did him. Don't get me wrong, Aaron will always have a special place in my heart, and in some way I still do love him, but I don't want to be with him. I just want to feel that feeling again. Three months ago I really didn't want anything to do with guys *look how long that lasted*, now I just want to be with someone. I want to fall in love again.

I've really noticed how people take things/people for granted. My mother raised my sisters and I to be grateful, to be considerate and understanding. Despite the many fights between my mother and I, I never take her for granted. I love my mother unconditionally, no matter how angry she makes me, no matter how much I want to leave my house. I still want to leave :), but I know if I ever HAD to come back for whatever reason, she would take me in with open arms. I truly am blessed, I have the basic necessities I need to live, plus a loving family, and truly great friends. I'm in school, trying to better myself, and a stable job. I don't require much, and I appreciate the simple things in life.

Usually when I blog, it's my daily ramblings and all that jazz...I'm pretty sure this blog couldn't contain all my thoughts and feelings in this tight little space, I'm sure if it did they might start charging us to blog. So anyways, there are a few things I need to catch up on, or for my readers to catch up on. I have very few friends, and even less people who know everything about me. I mean sure there's Rayanne, Dayna and Lauren, but then there's Donald (who I never mention in any of my blogs, and maybe because I'm still trying to sort that situation out) . I can honestly say that Rayanne, Dayna, and Donald know literally everything about me. Lauren, well, she's pretty judgmental. So Donald and I have been friends for...about 2 years. When I first met him I thought he was creepy, and it's funny now because we tell eachother on a daily basis that we love eachother. Donald is what we females call a "good guy", and yes, he has finished last. He's a great guy, he holds a special place in my heart. I wish in a way it ended there, it would make "our" situation that much easier. Truth is tho, is that Donald's feelings for me aren't just that of a friend, he wants to be with me. And for awhile I ignored it, but I can't any longer because the feelings are mutual. I know it's possible to be attracted to more than one person at a time, but Donald and I are such good friends, I'd hate to ruin our friendship. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't even keep a clear head when we're together. I was hoping that it was just a temporary feeling when it comes to most guys I deal with, but, I can tell now that it's not.

Call me a dork if you must, but I love the theme song from the movie trailier "Sin City".-original name...."Cells" by The Servant if anyone cares enough to listen to it. So that major check I was bragging about the other day is now gone :( but gone in a good way. I am caught up on all of my bills...thank goodness. I came across another blog, I couldn't remember the name of it to save my life, but it was a pretty interesting story, the writer however was EXTREMELY insecure. Some people tend to confuse gut feelings with insecurities, and that can drive a relationship into the ground. It pretty much drove James and I apart at one time, his own insecurities use to drive the hell out of me. I know it's pretty hard to get over a bad relationship where one cheated on the other, but honestly, you can not go on throughout your life and base your future relationships on the past. What's a relationship without good ol fashion trust? Oh well, live and learn...

Me and my future roommate went out to breakfast this morning...it's a guy! My mom will flip when she hears that one :), nothing sexual or anything of that nature. 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment in Chenault Creek, I hope anyways, I gotta get outta here, my mom will drive me insane. She was making jokes earlier about the obvious hole in the wall like it was funny, I didn't find it funny at all, to me it's just a constant reminder of the fight we had. Well, argument, Amber put the hole in the wall. Whatever...


I've been putting off getting my hair and nails done. I got a pedicure and my eye brows waxed yesterday...I love pampering myself, but hate the process of the pampering. I just feel like being a bum once in awhile :) but not this week :( Easter is coming up, and although I'll be all swollen and sore because of my oral surgery, I'll still look good :D


I had to write up one of my friends today...I wanted this new position and I knew what would come along with it, some of the employees have labeled me as "The Evil Witch". I thought that one was funny compared to the rest, I've got a hand cramp from writing people up....oh well, comes along with the territory. Can't be that bad, Jerrod has had to write up twice as many as I have, but, he's a little bit more tense...and while I'm being labeled as evil, he's being labeled as Quinn's bitch lol. I guess I would be Ike and he Anna Mae. Ahhh well, I'm tired, maybe my next post won't be so dull...

I saw Saw for the first time, I was fairly disturbed by the movie, almost as disturbed as the Nick Berg tape...Anyways, it's official, I will be moving this summer, thank God, I can not breathe in my mother's house. Amber caught herself trying to be a violent mediator and ended up punching a hole in the freshly painted wall and damn near busting her hand open...moron. Who knew trying to be independent and getting out from underneath my mother could be so hard. I think I've stressed over leaving enough to the point where I should have white hair. I'm just so tired of fighting with her, you can't have two women in the house, that's for damn sure. I can't wait to leave, I know once I leave I'll never come back.

I am finally out of that stump that I was in when I wrote the previous post. Takes a day or two to get over what I'm feeling, almost as long as it takes me to get mad...which makes little to no sense because I get mad AFTER the fact. I just have to keep a positive mentality. I can't let the little things get me down. I have too much going for myself right now, and I know I'm a good person. I just have to wait and be patient, and let things happen the way they should. Patience is a virtue!

It's funny how things can change in the blink of an eye. It's funny how things can almost be perfect, not just quite perfect, but enough to be comfortable. I am so tired and so frustrated with the games that come along with some people. Some people are going to read this entry and ask "where did this come from?". I'm cursed! I swear I am, it seems that every time something good happens to me, something bad follows right behind. I knew what I was in for, hopping into another relationship after James, I knew what I was in for when I accepted that position at work, I knew what I was in for when I started looking for my own apartment. I feel like I'm continuously going around in circles.

I was in my Business Law class today, doodling in my notebook, drawing out the floor plan for my future business, when my teacher made a comment. I don't remember her exact words, but what she said triggered a memory for me. I had to be about 13, in the 8th grade. My mom had moved us down here from Aurora, CO. She stuck in me in the first school that was in our district, Fannie C. Williams. I was put in the "honors" class, but the honors work came easily to me. What we were learning then I had already learned in the 7th grade, so really, I was suppose to skip a grade. I was the smartest kid in my class, when each quarter ended I always made the platinum honor roll, and had the highest GPA in my class.

I was really quiet though. I always sat in the back of my class, never said anything to my class mates. If a teacher called on me, I hesitated to answer, I was constantly taunted and made fun of. I remember one time in my Visual Arts class, we had to watch a tape, and unfortunately I sat in the front. I remember one of my class mates took an empty Pepsi can, and threw it at me. By then, I had learned to ignore the kids, but this one particular time, I got angry. I got up and walked over to the girls who threw it at me, and looked at them. They were laughing of course, they thought it was hilarious as most of the kids in that class did. But when I got up and walked over to them, the laughter stopped. They assumed I had gone over there to fight. But I didn't, I just stared at them. The girl who threw the can got up and got in my face. "What are you going to do?" she asked me. I just looked at her. She started laughing when I didn't say anything. I was burning with anger, and I waited for her to stop laughing. When she did, this look came into her eyes, it looked like fear, because it was then that she realized what she did. And all I could say was "Are you that unhappy with yourself, that you feel to bring others down along with you? You hate me because you really hate yourself." I dropped the can at her feet, and went back to my seat. No one said anything to me after that.

I don't know why I remembered that, I can't even remember what my teacher said that triggered that particular memory. I ran into that girl at Wal-Mart when I was a senior in high school. I had on my uniform, and she had on hers (Abe of course). My mom and I were fighting over what tooth paste to get when she walked up to us. "Didn't you use to go to Fannie?" She asked me. I stared at her, and my mother looked at me. "Yes, I did." I said. She smiled at me, but I frowned at her. "Do you remember me?" she asked. I smiled at her. She must have forgotten who I was. "Oh yeah, you're the girl who threw the Pepsi can at me in class." I said. She was speechless. My mom still said nothing, she was speechless as well. I turned away from the girl, and to my mom. "I think we should get Colgate." And with that, toothpaste in hand, we walked away.

On the brighter side of things, I got the head supervisor job, now I can tell those other crummy supervisors what to do (and it's about damn time, they suck). I wish I had the authority to fire people, so many people would be gone. I have so much studying to catch up on in accounting, but I'm in this mode right now where I'm being lazy. Oh well...