Why? Why? Why?

I won't even sugar coat this post, why James why? It took me a second to collect my thoughts, but after all that I've said, the only thing YOU got from it was that as you say my "outgrowing" you means that "I'm better than you"? Even after I broke it down in simpler terms, that didn't make a difference. And while I was collecting my thoughts, it wasn't even necessarily me outgrowing you, it was that I have a completely different mindset, and my change could obviously never be compatible to yours because you're still the same person that you were 5 months ago, selfish and still insecure. You told me, time after time, that maybe the result of our relationship was because of me, but once I let you go, and decided TO change those flaws within me, it wasn't me to begin with. It was never me. What exactly did you expect from me after we started talking again? For us to get in another relationship and make repeated attempts to go back to what we were? Never. So you still want to mess around? Can't do that, and for two reasons. While I was with you, and when I was without you, I learned to value myself more than I did, but when I was with you, I didn't really like who I was because of you. You haven't changed at all, and all the while you were telling me I needed to change it was really you who should've looked in the mirror and picked out the flaws in your character. Second reason...simple. You already know about ::BLEEP::, and despite that I actually have FEELINGS for someone other than you, that doesn't make a difference. You actually wanted me to consider jeapordizing a potential relationship for someone who doesn't want to change...I'm sorry, I had to let this out.