I haven't blogged as much as I use to, I think I'm going through a blogger's depression or something, and although a few things are going on that present moment, for some reason I just haven't logged on to blog about the happenings in my life.


The run down...school has officially started, some Monday through Thursday you can find me in the classroom at the wee hours of the afternoon (12-4). For some reason this semester they changed the class schedules, so I only have classes Monday through Thursday, giving me a 3 day weekend...Can I get a hell yeah!? Ok, maybe not...HELL YEAH!!!! Other than my fabulous classes and the fabulous work load this semester, I've decided to step-down from my position to avoid the drama that would erupt like a volcano if I didn't...I have yet to inform my managers of my decision, but I think they'll be happy to know can Jerrod boss me around :D

My birthday is coming up in about 36 days, and there will be 21 candles on there, so I expect lots of presents! Ok no really, all I want in the pink mini iPOD and the $2,000 dell note book, but he has already taken care of the iPOD and mom is getting the notebook, so, a happy birthday from y'all would be great! ok carrying on...

He and I have looked at a few apartments, but we will most likely be moving out to JERFFERSON PARISH with all the traffic and decent malls... but who cares. My doggy Jess will not be coming with me :( but that's only because she will be depressed without Twinkie, so we will most likely be getting another dog. I want a tiny dog I can put in my purse and carry around like a rich *fill in the blank*

Whitney had been living on campus for the past week at UNO, and she already "hates" it...I think it's because her room mate is just as sloppy as she is...it's been quite quiet without her, I can defintely feel the difference with her being gone. That's funny because when Whitney WAS HOME, she slept about 95% of the time so I barely saw her at all...maybe it's because she doesn't leave tooth paste in the sink in the mornings anymore...who knows!

His birthday is coming up as well, but I haven't the slighest idea what to get him. I want to go all out for him... So if anyone has any suggestions, let me know.

He and I went out to lunch Thursday before I had to work for 5. We were talking, and he received a phone call from who I like to call his "career advisor". He says a lot of "yeahs" and "oks", and I'm sure the only reason he didn't say a lot on his end is because he didn't want me to catch on to what they were talking about. Of course I asked him about it, and he said in more or less words he'd officially start working next March. Now most people would think that's awhile from now, but 8 months to me is like tomorrow. So I get all teary eyed and damn near start crying at the table. Of course he tries to console me, but that didn't work. So I sucked it up until I got home. It was an all out tear fest then. I can't believe that almost 6 months ago I was dating fruity booty, and now I'm emotionally attached to someone who's about to leave me. I won't lie, I doubt that our relationship will work. I can't see myself seeing him 12 times out the year, it makes me depressed thinking about it. But that would be my luck...I actually find someone that I care about and that treats me right, only for him to leave.

It's at the point...

where anything that's done to me...or against me, doesn't even matter anymore. I do not care anymore. I'm tired of being tired. I'm letting it go. No one can hurt me unless I let them.

I have a reader...

that I know personally, and we don't like eachother at all. I won't call them out, but it's funny that this person quotes exact words from my blog...and tells other people...BITCH, mind your own business, and get a life!

Have a nice day!

*and yes, I did curse*

This world is so small....

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: you do not know how far the next person's connections run. You can't do anything without it getting back to someone. I received a phone call from Demetrium as I was falling asleep tonight. I think it's really funny that two days ago I posted about this, but this time it's a different a girl. This girl named Miranda, or something like that had a room mate that would been considered the other woman. She was sleeping with James, and according to Miranda, still is. The sad part about all of this is, this girl claimed to have gotten HPV from James, and is still messing around with him. I would have dismissed this piece of information if it wasn't for the time frame. Seemingly past events are starting to take place in my mind as Demetrium is talking. James was having sex with this girl, and then coming back and having sex with me. When he claimed to just be "hanging" out on Dillard's campus after my classes let out and I had already gone home, this bell just started ringing in my head. Why in the hell would you be on MY campus if I already went home after classes I would ask him. He was just hanging out with some of the people he "graduated" with. Right, and I believed him. Did he even think of me while he was cheating on me with these random girls? Did he think of the consequences as soon as he stuck his dick in a girl that wasn't me? I'm pissed as all hell, because this nigga is so selfish and inconsiderate and arrogant, he put my life in jeapordy, and for what? A damn nut. When I asked him to be honest with me time after time, he swore up and down that I was the only person. And I was stupid to believe him. I'm just lucky enough that the dirty bastard didn't give me anything. I think it's really pathetic that all the dirt he's done is JUST NOW coming to light. All I can do is let it go. But I'll say this, I hope his penis falls off. James just better hope he doesn't run into him, because James will not be able to walk anymore.

Some people are so ugh!!!! It must be case of the X weekend or something

The X isn't even pregnant...that triflin itch is down here in New Orleans for 6 weeks, and tries to come by his house when she finds out I'm staying with him. He of course tells her no and pisses her off. Then that nasty heffa tells him she isn't even pregnant! Personally I'd like to rip all of her hair of out her head...but I'm not a figher, I haven't gotten into a fist fight since I was the 7th grade. I don't think fighting would solve anything, but this tramp has me so pissed off right now...He can't seem to get rid of her. He's changed his phone number twice already, e-mail address, and even his banking company, and for some unusual reason, she still has ACCESS TO ALL OF THEM. I actually trust this dude with my life, and I would be so hurt if I found out he was still entertaining her in any way, which would be the only way for her to actually know all of his personal information. I don't want to doubt him...but I don't know anymore. She will pop up out of nowhere, call him, pass around his apartment, even call his job to see if he's working that day. I won't even go into detail about the time she called MY job to find out when I was working and when I got off from work...of course Customer Service can't give out that kind of information...but they questioned me about it.

And then on top of that...some random chick tells me she has a STD, and she got it from James and I need to go get checked! Moi? Burning...I don't think so, see, I was tested in March or April, I forgot, everything came back str8, and I haven't been with James since last year in November...I felt bad for the girl or whatever, she's a victim of his I guess, I mean, if you've had over 35 partners like James, you would think to get tested occasionally right? No, he has never been tested, not for STDs anyway, and when I encouraged him to get tested when we were together, he basically dismissed the idea, he was really that arrogant not to get tested. Ok, arrogant and dumb, because if this girl really has a STD and James did give it to her, he might be passing it around to everyone else.

Then there's that dick head Jerrod. I stayed until 9 last night to help out, and this prick made me want to choke the life out of him. He is such a poor excuse for a human, I can't even stay mad at him.

This is the longest I've been away from my blog...

and so much has happened since the last time I've posted. But I'd rather not talk about it now, it wasn't exactly good. Just know in the past week, I moved out of my mother's house, moved in with him (and the only good thing that came out of that was I got to stay over night with him and sleep with him in his bed, it was quite nice)and moved right back with my mom.

Thursday I took a 17 year old girl to get birth control from Planned Parenthood. She was planning on having sex with her boyfriend, and had her mind set on doing it. I didn't think I could talk her out of it, besides, in a way that would have been hyprocritical of me to try to. I lost my virginity to Aaron when I was 17. So all I could was give her advice and hope that all goes well with her first sexual encounter.

He and I had our first argument. It was a pretty heated argument, and over something that could have been easily avoided. I was pretty upset already because they're trying to make me work 6 days in a row at work this week, and then he went and said something that made me even more upset.

I told Demetrium that I think I'm in love...his reponse was "I'm jealous."

This is killing me!

He hasn't even started school yet, and I'm reduced to seeing him once every few days...he's picked up more shifts at work and is talking about getting a second job...we don't go out on weekends anymore, and I refuse to go anywhere by myself. Amber and I will usually do something while Whitney will hole herself up in the bedroom, but even she has a social life and doesn't want hang out with her big sister all the time. God I can't wait until Rayanne and Dayna get back, I'm so bored. They've nearly cut out shifts in half at work so I have tons of time on my hands during the week...I would look for another job, but I kind of got discouraged after the Oschner situation, I don't think too many places will work with my schedule. I think I might just stick it out until something else better comes along...

Do you ever talk to some people...

...you just wanna smack the hell out of? Like literally, just take the back of your hand, and just slap them across the head? Ok, that's what I want to do right now. I just want to slap them, and possibly knock some sense into them. I'm talking to this guy I've known for awhile, and he starts questioning me about him. I kind of just dismiss him, because like I've said before, we're not talking about our relationship with anyone. Then this guy, who I'll call E, says "You like them ignant ass niggas from New Orleans, he probably ain't no different from James." Now the hostile part of me just wants to knock a few teeth out for just saying something so f-ing stupid, but the reasonable, thoughtful side is saying...he's just trying to get a rise out of you. So I simply explain to him that not everyone is the same, there are actually decent people in this crappy city. "Is that why you dealt with James for so long?" was his response. Why oh why does James have this stigma, I can't seem to shake him to save my life. Someone always has to bring James up. Honestly, anytime someone associates me with someone, it's always James. We haven't been together 8 months and people still throw his name in my face. But I guess that's what I get for not sharing my business with the world, since I won't admit to him, they use James against me.

Anne

Anne and I have been friends since she was in the 8th grade and I was in the 9th grade. She was one of the girls I actually talked to because like myself, we were outcast in some kind of way. Everyone thought I was the athiest freak and she the lezbo voodoo witch. So we got along just fine. Well, Anne and I happen to work at the same place, and we're still friends 6 years later. I accepted a long time ago her sexual preference, but some new things have come up and I'm shocked and somewhat disturbed. Here's a convesation between Donald and I to explain a little better...

Donald-You know Anne likes you.
Me-Of course she does, everyone likes me (said with complete sarcasm).
Donald-No, like for real, she wants to turn you out.
Me-Ummm...ewww much?
Donald-Yeah, when we work together, we always talk about how big your ass is and how everyone wants to f*ck you, including her.
Me-Ummm, Donald, stop playing me (I slap him).
Donald-I'm serious! She really likes you, like, wants to be with you.
Me-(silent)
Donald-She didnt say anything because you aren't "like that".
Me-Well I'm not, the only person I'd ever go gay for is...
Donald-(cuts me off) Jessica Simpson, Halle Berry and Angelina Jolie.
Me-Right! I'm so glad you pay attention. You know I don't believe you right?
Donald-Fine. Next time I see her I'ma tell her to tell you.
Me-Whatever loser.

So now when I work with Anne, I become speechless around her. She doesn't know that I know, but it still makes the air uncomfortable.

Among other things...

My mother came home in the middle of the day and nearly blew on Whitney because the backdoor was unlocked. My sisters and I are baffled by this because we usually leave the backdoor open for the dogs. Our neighborhood is fairly safe enough to keep it unlocked so we never think about it twice until it gets dark. When we asked my mom what her problem was, she starting saying things like "anyone can just walk in here" and "it's not safe to keep the doors unlocked." I pointed out to her that if anyone even came close to our house, the dogs would have been all over it, they are after all like our personal alarm system, no one gets close to our house with our knowing it because they bark like crazy. That's when the truth comes out. Apparently, who ever JUST moved into the house that's like 3 houses down is a recently released SEX OFFENDER. She was more worried now than ever because this sex offender was giving Whitney and I...the eye. Now, my mom doesn't want us out at night past 11 (eventho sometimes I work until 1), and when we take the dogs out at night, Kenny has to come with us.

I've finally found the color that I want to paint my room. It's like this light winter green, it's really pretty. I already picked out the bedroom set, now if only I can save up like $800 dollars to get it all done at once. Donald already said he would paint my room for me, he's so sweet.

Braces suck!

Not only do I have springs and rubber bands in my mouth, but the damn metal is cutting up my fingers when I replace the the rubber bands or pull the springs in front the wires. But who cares about that...

I put in an application for this job at Oschner, but unfortunately because of my school schedule, I won't be able to work there :( and I was so hoping to get out of The Grand. It looks as though I'll be staying because they are the only one's who will work with my schedule, unless Methodist will come thru...it's kind of depressing, but I was cheered up somewhat because he bought me Natasha Bedingfield's cd today so woohoo for me!

My mom is actually considering getting my dogs insurance (I didn't know they insurance for animals) because we just spent $170 at the vet to get Jessica all of her shots, complimented with a free bath so she smells like a brand new car.

I'm thinking of getting my ears pierced again at the top, but I'm being a wimp. I'm actually afraid to have them shoot that little gun...you would think because I already have 3 tattoos I wouldn't be terrified of getting my ears pierced.