My family will officially be split up next week. Whitney's in Pueblo, Amber will be going by my step-father who also has my dogs in Alabama, and then it'll just be and my mom. I think I'm just becoming numb to the idea now, because it's like I don't feel anything anymore. When the levees broke again today in the 9th ward, all I could think was atleast no one is there, trapped in their attics. Am I worried about my house anymore? No, I've seen pictures of the damage done in Chimney Wood, they'll defintely have to re-build. The second floor wasn't touched, but by the time we're actually able to get out there and salvage whatever I'm sure the mildew and mold will have been taken over by then. I've decided to not take the job at Lady Foot Locker, I really don't have the patience for the training...so I'll be doing nothing for the next 4 months...unless my mom makes me get a job, which I doubt since we're well taken care of. I really wanted to go back and help "volunteer" or something, but my mom told me no. Funny, I'll be 21 in a week and I'm still being told what to do like I'm 7.

My dad I think has finally started to come around. It kind of pissed me off that him being threatened about being thrown in jail was what it took. Supposedly he's tired of running...and he's settled down and just wants to live his life, so he'll be paying back almost $85,000 in child support to my mother. I don't believe a word of it, he'll pay something, but not $85,000. I don't words could describe how I feel about him now, sure I long to have the father I never had, but at the same time, it just pains me because he chose someone else. I want to forgive him, but that'll take time. I've accepted that he will never be the father he should have been.