I leave for Florida in less than 4 hours and I have yet to go to sleep. I'm not really tired, and I know the flight will be long as hell, so I plan on sleeping on the flight. I decided to pamper myself and actually get my eyebrows waxed (Lord knew I needed it). I brought along a picture so she could have an idea of what I wanted. They came out nice, a little thicker than what I'm use to, but atleast it ain't all crooked and lopsided when the last 3 girls did it. As fas as the apartment search...it's still going on. I'm quited disappointed with the first apartment, and has set precedent for the rest because of those outrageous application fees (I've already spent $105 and was denied...) Money does not grow on trees so I have to be very careful about the places I apply for, otherwise the little money I do have let won't cover the damn deposit. My aunt said she would help...but, I hate to rely on anyone to do anything for me, just the way I am I guess. Gerald told me about this place he worked on, and said he would get the contact information for me, so hopefully he'll come through with that. I'm so anxious to be home right now it's not even funny. I think when I come back from Florida it'll sink in that I won't be going back to New Orleans soon after liked planned. My mom of course is trying to talk me out of leaving (she doesn't want me out there by myself without her) and instead is driving me to want to leave more. I don't know if this place is growing on her, but each and every day I go outside I grow to hate it even more. It's almost sickening to a point. So I stay in the house all day except to take the dog out. Oh yeah, to reply to LB, I know exactly how you feel about the results, I got a pap smear Aug. 26th, 2005 and never got my results back either. I'm not sure what the procedure was then for your biospy, but my doc numbed me a lil bit so it didn't hurt as much, but don't put something like that off especially if you've waited almost a whole year...hopefully everything is ok and intact, I know it's not the most comfortable experience but when all is said and done, atleast you get to put it off for another 3 months...

So I've been denied twice...for the same apartment(My mom was denied first, then the Property manager said I was approved but needed someone else's income). At first, I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, but when Donald was denied because he has "unfavorable" credit", my first thought are these mother fuckers are racist (He damn near has better credit than I do). Sure, this is my first real apartment, and I may have been a little naive...but, I'm not stupid. My thing is that the city is dead, there aren't many people and you would think they would want the city to thrive again like it was. So how do you make it so difficult to come back by gouging on the rent or having such strict rules that only few (and literally few) can apply. I'll tell you why...because they don't want New Orleans to become The Chocolate City, they want New Orleans to become White Haven. And it pisses me off. Why didn't New Orleans do what Florida did after they were hit time and time again by hurricanes by passing laws forbidding people to go up on the rent? I voted for Nagin so hopefully he doesn't disappoint...again. He needs to put an end to the gouging and try and find a way for the citizens scattered across the U.S. to come back, and I don't just mean that damn buy out plan; not everyone in New Orleans are homeowners. So what is a girl to do? Hopefully I won't be spending my summer out here...but if I need to, then I'll just have to suck it up and be a man about it.


Oh yeah, the biospy wasn't as bad as I thought, but it left me feeling extremely violated and crampy, eventho I had already taken a vicodin earlier that day. So yeah Miss LB, you are a bigger man than me because I still cried like a baby LOL

So I'm not sure is worse...having a biospy done, or having a giant pimple on your face the day of your wedding...I'm going to go with the biospy because that's what I have to have done. My annual pap results came back abnormal...STD results came back normal. So what could it be possibly? Hell if I know, I dropped pre-med after a year and if I had continued it, gynecology would have not been my field. I'm semi-nervous to say the least, my doctor says first they'll look at my cervix through a microscope, and after that, if they find any "abnormal" cells, then they'll do the biospy, so I am praying that I don't have to have that done because I heard it hurts...as would any scraping or snipping of something that you can barely get to yourself. But enough of about that. I'm going to bed so I won't feel half as nauseated as I will feel in the morning.

So as you may all know, my trip to N.O. was last week, and as I've stated before, that trip would determine whether or not my mom would be moving back this summer. Well, after much consideration and thought *or lack there of* she has decided to not move back this summer, but she will HELP ME move back. I had already decided before we came that if she wasn't coming back, I would without her. I've gotten tired of the indecisiveness, the up and down of the situation...staying here, going back, what to do what to do. It drove me everyday that she would change her mind about what she wanted to do, telling me one thing and then another. So instead of getting my hopes up based on her decision, I said fuck it, I'll move back without my family, there's no way in hell I'll make it out here for the summer. So I put in an application for this apartment by Xavier and I'm waiting to be approved. It's not bad for the price they want, I'm just worried about living in the ghetto, but hey, beggers can't be choosers. Amazingly, the 9 day seperation before the hubby and I has actually brought us closer. I missed him so much when I was away and I couldn't wait to go home and be with him. Corny, I know. But I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder. He actually cleaned up before I got home (and if you know my boyfriend, that's a very sweet gesture because he never cleans up on his own!). But it's late, and I'm sleepy, so maybe I'll update a little later with details of my trip home.